Last night I went to the old reggae spot I used to go to. I went by myself and then KB met me at the bar. We had a good time because we both like to dance but... Geezum. It was kind of a waste. The party was a little lame, and the guys were not trying to dance at all. I got very tipsey and I managed to forget about Trini for the first hour or so but towards the end it got to be like a nagging pain in my heart. I've never had a toothache, but I imagine that's what its like. I was functioning and smiling but the little annoying pain just would not quit.

FB is a waste of time. He's just trying to get sex. We were texting last night and rather than invite me to do whatever bar hopping he was doing or meet up, he told me to make sure I text him my address so he could come over later.  *Blank fucking stare*. I called him on it though and then he tried to change up his story a little and said that he did want to meet up and it wasn't just about trying to come over. But by then I was already out and I didn't want to be bothered with some dude pressing me for sex. He laid it out in no uncertain terms that if he came out to meet me he'd need some extra "motivation" to make it worthwhile. Who says that? Even IF I want to go there, the fact that he asked ruined everything. What ever happened to spontaneity? Why can't we just hang out and let things happen naturally? I ended the conversation by saying that I thought he was cool and I enjoyed his company but if that's what hes after then we probably don't need to be kicking it. I said I'd like to get to know each other first but that I understood if he didn't want to do it that way and to have a good night. He said he appreciated my candor and wanted to get to know me too.

Yea right.

Straightening these boys gets so tiring sometimes. I hate the moment when a seemingly cool guy ruins everything by bringing up sex prematurely or forcing it. I didn't want to waste his time or mine if that's all he was after. When it comes to sex, its a woman's world. We say when, where, how, and who. Guys, let the woman like you and want you first. If you have to ask or bring it up, its too soon and you decrease your chances of getting it.

Trini text me the usual we need to talk and I miss you etc.

This is really getting old. I know I need to cut that off completely. I wish he would get it together. I wish he weren't so selfish so I could go back and everything could be normal again.

-Sade