Monday, August 15, 2011

Monday Blues

I'm anxious and upset. Trini and I are in another communication battle over meeting to get my keys back. Of course it doesn't end with convo about the keys. He goes on to say that I must really be done with him and he doesn't understand what went wrong. I start feeling guilty and get sucked back into the trap of explaining myself. These post breakup conversations are getting us no where. I still care too much. I need to be a man about it. Seriously. When a man is done with you, that's it. He's out the door. He doesn't want to talk it out, hear you cry, listen to you explain... Nothing. I see why. Talking about it makes it harder to move on and really just drags out the inevitable. I need to turn off the I CARE switch and keep it moving.

I am trying not to gain any more weight. I'm up two pounds from last week, which sucks. I need to get it together. Rather than go home and cry or lay down, I need to start working out again. This thing with Trini breaks my heart and it is so hard to go home and just be in that space alone. I want to get up and workout, but at the same time I'd rather just lay down and watch Law and Order. I think about what was, what could have been, replay the good and bad times. I can't escape my own brain. I NEED to function like a normal human being again and working out should be my top priority. 

Here are today's lunchtime eats. It's a greek salad that I made last night along with an herb crusted salmon fillet. Both were delish! I invited SB to come eat but he had a baby shower to go to. I love to cook and I love sharing it with the people I care about even more.  

For the salad I used 2 bags of lettuce (hearts of romaine & mixed baby greens), 2 plum tomatoes, 2 cucumbers, kalamata olives, black pepper, and Ken's Light Balsamic Vinaigrette . The salmon was marinated in fresh garlic, a little butter, lemon juice, pepper, lots of dill, kosher salt, thyme, and paprika. I broiled it for about half an hour or until it was flaky. 

I also had a bowl of cantaloupe and my usual shredded wheat for breakfast. 

Let's hope for a good week!


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