We had agreed to meet at 7. He was not only on time, but early. Trini is usually late. That was one of the things that drove me crazy while we were together so I was kind of impressed. I walked up to him and I felt it coming. A smile. Before I could even speak a HUGE I missed you smile broke out across my face. He tried not to smile either but he lost. Kind of. In his brooding way, he let me see that he was as happy to see me as I was to see him. He noticed everything. My hair.My nail polish. Said I looked beautiful and asked if I was happy.... I couldn't answer.
I am not happy that my relationship came to an end especially because I worked so hard at it. However, I am a little relieved at not having to stress over him and bug him for the most basic things. I'm right in the middle.
As much as I can't stand him sometimes, I'm not 100% sure I can stand to be without him either and last night was proof. It was actually nice. We talked more about our relationship and what we both wanted and there was no arguing, no yelling. At times it got a little tense, but there was a sense of calm throughout the entire conversation that made it so much easier to talk. At one point he leaned over and kissed me and for a moment, everything felt like it would be okay. I know its crazy but I'm actually thinking maybe we need another chance at us. I haven't heard from him yet today but... I guess we'll take it one day at a time. I'm in no rush to get back together, but I'm not really ready to move on either.
Today is a good food day. Lunch was my herb crusted salmon and steamed spinach with garlic. I had shredded wheat with banana for breakfast and 2 slices of cheddar cheese for a snack. Tonight I'll probably make another salad and try to get in a workout before Law & Order.
-Sade
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