Tuesday, August 9, 2011

This Time Around

I'd like to be with someone who is happy and energetic like I am. Now that the breakup with Trini has set in, I realize that I miss him a lot, but I kind of don't miss the brooding and the every day struggle we had sometimes to work out plans, spend time together, and to just have a good time.

We all have stress and I know that men don't really show their emotions but I'd like to be with a man who can still smile at me when we see each other and not be so weighed down by the world all the time. Trini was not emotional AT all. Which is fine, but sometimes it was just difficult to be around him. He hardly ever smiled, never showed joy or happiness and always seemed stressed and uninterested.He has a home situation that is RIDICULOUS to me and a family that I really don't understand. But he's the man of the house so his stress came from there and landed on my doorstep sometimes whenever we would see each other. I'd spend the first 20 minutes trying to cheer him up. He didn't volunteer anything exciting either. I had to try to open him up and ask about his day etc., and sometimes he'd just look at me like he was annoyed. Why be in a relationship if not to have someone care about your day and want to talk to you about theirs?

I stress about my weight, grad school, work, my hair, my friends, life in general. If I can put that aside and smile at my man, get dinner going or plan something nice for him, then I want the same thing in return. This time around I'd like to GET instead of always being the one to GIVE. I'd like someone to make my days brighter instead of working my ass of to cheer up some dude who can't reciprocate or give the relationship any life.

I'd like to be with someone who can make me laugh and isn't "stressed" all the time. I like a generally positive disposition. Corny jokes. A big smile. Energy. Quick Wit.

FB has a personality like that, and I like it. He can talk about any and everything, never looks bored or "stressed" and he actually smiles. He talks about his day, his job. Never a dull moment.That is nice. He tells corny jokes. I appreciate that. He just seems... happy. It's a nice change of pace from the brooding of Trini.

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